Last night, the grandmother of one of my students sent me this picture. This precious girl wanted me to see what she had drawn from me. It’s a picture of me, teaching, in front of the class. I. Love. It.
I love that after just four days, this little girl was at home thinking about me. I love that she wanted to do something for me. And I love that she was so excited about it, she couldn’t even wait a day for me to see it but instead had her grandmother message it to me. Precious.
There are two things that really stand out about this picture that I’d like to share… besides the love that came with it. The first is the details. The clothes I’m wearing in this picture? The exact outfit I was wearing yesterday to teach… down to the length of my black capris. Oh, it made me smile. The computer on the desk? Yes, I have many cables running down the back just like she drew. Our classroom carpet really is blue and I do have a big, brown, chair that sits behind my desk.
The details she added were details that she noticed in class. Accurate details. She is crazy observant! I messaged my friend and asked if we did, indeed, have blue carpet? Because I am one of the least observant people you will ever meet! I am so impressed that she notices all of those little details and remembers them. Her brain is so special!
Which leads me to my second observation. I teach a beautiful class of students. They are sweet and kind and loving and have many special needs. It is not your typical class… it’s a class that needs extra help, love, and support. Their brains think differently. Some would say disabled, I say different… but that’s a post for another day.
They are students who have learning differences, language delays, emotional struggles, and other major physical health needs. And, like any other class, there are students who have troubled backgrounds and huge life stories that are too big for their 8 and 9 year old little selves.
I love them.
I love the little girl who drew me this picture. One who struggles in school and has one of those huge life stories that most adults would have trouble living through. A little girl who some look at and wonder how she will ever succeed.
A little girl with a great big talent of observation, creativity and artistic ability. This morning I will go into school and pull this picture up on my phone and let her know how much I love it. How proud I am of her for having a mind that is so keen to notice details. How much I love that she drew me in the clothes I was wearing because to notice that about someone shows love. I will thank her and build her up because just like everyone else, she is talented and has strengths that deserve to be celebrated.
Everyone is talented in their own way and no two people are the same. Everyone has strengths and everyone has struggles. Having struggles does not take away from your strengths just as having many strengths does not excuse you from life’s struggles.
My students may struggle in reading or math but they have their own strengths of art, sports, kindness, friendship, music, responsibility, respect, helpfulness, technology, love, empathy, and more. I will do my best to help them learn, acknowledge and celebrate their strengths this year.
You, my friend, also have beautiful strengths, just as you have struggles.
I struggle with anxiety and being overweight and my own value (or lack thereof sometimes). It can be easy to focus on those and feel sad and frustrated and put myself down and become depressed. Yes, it happens.
But I’m also kind, loving, a great Mommy, a wonderful teacher, and a good friend. I can acknowledge where my weaknesses are and work on them… but I also celebrate my strengths and feel good about those. In fact, I think most of our focus should be on our great qualities! Work on your weaknesses, of course, but put most of your focus on the things you are good at it. Feel good about yourself. You deserve it.
The world needs you, with all of your talents and amazingness and even your struggles. You are not perfect (and if you were, we wouldn’t relate to you at all, you alien) but you are made of awesomesauce. Show it off today and while you are at it, look for the greatness in others as well.
I have always loved this quote.
To me, it implies that there is so much inside us. There is so much that goes into who we are are and what lies in our hearts and souls and minds. There is wonder and adventure and curiosity and love and magnificence and mistakes and failures and successes and victories and… so… much… more.
Often times, we play life small. Hidden. Out of sight. Wallflower, perhaps. Don’t notice me… I’m not important. What I have to say, think, or do is not as important as others. We hide the brilliance inside of us. And I do think all of us have brilliance inside of us although it looks different for everyone.
Possibly we play life… well medium. We’ve got some things to say and sometimes we say them. We’ve got things we want to do in life and sometimes we do them. And sometimes we don’t. Sometimes we speak up… and sometimes we are too afraid. We believe in ourselves to a point. But there is nothing super amazing about us. We are pretty average. Or so you think.
Synonyms of vast include immense, immeasurable, epic, expansive, boundless, and limitless. Those are beautiful, strong words. Inside each of us, there is such potential. Immense dreams, immeasurable value, epic adventures awaiting to be had. The thoughts we are capable of thinking are limitless and our feelings so expansive. You, my friend, are truly epic.
All of the potential that exists in you, just waiting to be shared with the world. Don’t hide it. Please, don’t hide that from the rest of us. You have so much to offer. Your ideas, your adventures, the love you have to share… the world needs it. The world needs more of you. Not what you think you should be, just you.
Open up. Take some chances. Reach out to someone and tell them how you feel. Plan a new adventure – no matter how big or small. Help others. Be Kind. Share your crazy ideas with your boss, your friends. Don’t be afraid. Grab a friend and go hike some waterfalls. Swim upstream. Learn to paint or rock climb or cook or ride a bike. Give your all at your job and in your family and take care of yourself too. Be willing to acknowledge your big, scary, dreams and start chasing them.
Don’t be delicate, sweet friends. You are not dainty or fragile or weak. Be vast and brilliant… just as you were created to be.
Kindness is a beautiful thing.
Today begins day four of the new school year. (Edit: Despite my exhaustion, today is Wednesday, day THREE lol!) So far, the days have been filled with team building, getting to know each other, learning procedures and routines of the classroom and school, and practice, practice, practice of said procedures and routines.
I decided to have only two class rules this year. Keepin’ it simple. My rules are Work Hard and Be Kind. Working hard covers my desire for my students to always do their best, no matter the outcome. And Be Kind covers everything else I want out of a good human. Kindness. It encompasses so much.
Kindness is smiling at people you know… and don’t know. Saying good morning. Welcoming friends to class. Hugs and fist bumps and high fives and fortnite dancing together.
Kindness is helping friends that are struggling, picking someone up after they’ve fallen, cleaning up after a friend, an arm around the shoulder, a boost to the self-esteem.
Kindness is sweet words of encouragement – whether someone is struggling and needs a “You’ve got this. Keep going. I’ll help you.” or excelling and would love to hear a “You are amazing. You are so smart at math.” It’s “Want to play with me?” and “Here, sit by me at lunch,” and “I’ll show you where to go.” It’s translating what the teacher is saying into Spanish for the student that has only been in the country for six months.
Kindness is understanding that everyone has strengths and everyone has weaknesses and that it’s ok to be great at things and it’s ok to need help with things and never judging someone for their weaknesses.
Kindness is the hundreds or thousands of people across Facebook who are helping teachers they don’t know #clearthelist of things they’d love to have in their classrooms.
Kindness is teachers greeting teachers. Sharing lesson plans and creative ideas. Lending an ear to vent and a room to cool off. Lending a pen or a phone (you know we sign in at everything) at staff meetings. Sharing chocolate and coffee and chips and guac. Even as adults, kindness is still “Can I help you?” and “Here, sit by me at lunch,” and “I’ll show you.”
Kindness is knowing that everyone has a story. We may not know it, we may not see it, but it’s there. Everyone has a story and kindness is showing compassion and empathy even when we don’t understand what the other person is going through. It’s realizing we don’t need to know their story in order to show kindness.
Kindness is something within everyone’s ability to act on. Have a wonderful day today, friends, and please, be kind.
If you have the power to make someone happy, do it. The world needs more of that.
Life is full of waves, hmm? Things that don’t go as planned, missed opportunities, frustrating circumstances, unforeseen events, and everyday mishaps. Every darn day… although, certainly some days worse than others. It’s rare to have a day of just smooth sailing. That’s life.
We do have a choice in how we respond to it. We can let it derail us from our attempt at a positive lifestyle. We can seeth in anger, fester in the frustration, and complain… oh, the complaining. I’m the first one to reach out to my friends to vent (and I think that’s ok)… but I do believe in getting it out and moving on as soon as possible. The longer we talk about it, the longer we hold onto those yucky feelings, the worse they become. A bad five minutes can easily turn into a horrible, no good, very bad day.
Instead, we have tools to use and strategies we can put in place.
The waves will come whether we like it or not. The decision is up to you… Sink or Surf.
A quick side note. I’ve only been blogging for about two weeks and I’ve spent many of those days talking about strategies to use on the “average day.” I’d like to note that I’m not talking about traumatic events in our lives. Those situations are a whole different beast and take more to get through. I’m sure I will write about that eventually, but for now, I’m talking about the every day struggles of an ordinary time of life.
Positivity is a choice – wake up and smile. 🙂 I love it.
This is my first 5am wake up call since summer is finished and today is the first day of school for students! My daughter was asleep by 8:30pm, I had an early night, and then… my echo dot went off 4 – 5 times last night flashing and making noises. My daughter must have been dreaming because she yelled out a few times, and there goes my great night’s sleep!
I’m feeling it a bit… but… I am also so excited! All around the county, for the next hour and a half, teachers and students will be waking up to a brand new school year. Little tummies will have butterflies. Students will have that feeling of this is new, this is different, I’m not sure what to expect. Teachers are hoping to get the year started off right with a great first day of building relationships and establishing routines. Nerves and excitement, joy and fear, this day is full of feelings and emotions.
Every day, we make choices that decide how we are going to feel. Our thoughts lead to our feelings and we are in charge of our thoughts. Now, this takes some practice as most of us are used to letting our thoughts run the show. But when we start listening to our thoughts, we can decide if they are worth thinking or not. We can change them, if we should.
Take today. A thought may pop in our head – What if no one likes me today? If we allow that thought to ruminate, we will feel anxious, nervous, and sad. If we catch that thought, we can change it. Everyone will like me today. I am kind. I am smart. I am a good friend. (There are those I ams that I am such a big fan of.) The positive affirmations give us that boost of good feelings, of self confidence, and thoughts that today really will be a good day. We then feel better.
Thought: What if the students get out of hand? What if I can’t handle it? Catch it. Change it. I am a great teacher. I have good classroom management. I will show the students I love them and teach the expectations of the classroom clearly and with fun. Smile, teacher friend, you’ve got this.
Thought: Third grade is going to be so hard. I’m not smart enough to do the work. Catch it and change it! I am so intelligent. Third grade is going to be fun. I am willing to work hard and ask for help when I need it. It’s going to be a great year!
We have the power, every day and in every moment, to change our thoughts. And when we change our thoughts, our feelings follow. The more positive thoughts we have, we choose, the happier and more at peace we will feel. Most of the things we worry about, never really happen anyway. So why waste time, energy, and emotions in worrying about them? Catch those negative thoughts, change them to positive, and feel fantastic.
It’s not easy at first. We have to be present and really paying attention to what we are thinking about. That’s not normal for most people. It takes effort and constant redirection of our thoughts. The more we choose positive thoughts, the easier it becomes. When we do it every day, several times every day, it begins to become a habit. As we build that habit, it eventually becomes second nature.
That’s not to say that the negative thoughts never pop in. But when they do, we quickly recognize them and can turn them around. That’s when it’s become a lifestyle. A positive lifestyle. It’s a goal worth shooting for.
Today will be amazing. Happy first day of school to all the teachers and students out there! It’s going to be a great one!
There’s a post going around Facebook of a gorgeous little girl in an atypical pose – hair a beautiful mess, viking paint on her cheeks, dirty, fierce, tough. The quote with it says, “Do not raise your daughter to look for a knight. Raise her to use the sword herself.” Oooh, do I ever love it.
My goal as a Mommy is to raise a good human, one who believes in herself, stands up for herself, and fights for others. A kind, gentle soul… that won’t let anyone take advantage of her. A girl… woman… who knows her worth and isn’t afraid to make a stand to be treated the way she deserves. But one who does it with grace and compassion, both for herself and towards others.
A bit of tall order in today’s day and age, but it’s my goal nonetheless. It’s a fine line to walk… venture too far one way or the other and it falls apart. A woman with only compassion, who doesn’t understand her own value, can easily be taken advantage of. A woman who thinks so highly of herself that she cannot see the needs of others, becomes cold and heartless.
But the middle line… it’s beautiful. Idealistic? Maybe. Achievable? I believe so. I’m working hard to get there myself so that I can lead the way for my daughter. I pour my heart into my daughter, my family, my friends, and my students. At the same time, I’m learning how to stand up to others and say, “No, this isn’t right. It needs to change.” or “They deserve better” or even harder, “I deserve better.”
I have a long way to go. I lean way more towards the compassionate and not knowing your own value and worth side. But that’s ok. There’s room for growth.
I’m raising my daughter to be both – loving and kind, to think about how her actions affect others, to care… and also fierce – to not let anyone take advantage of her, to stand up for those weaker than her, and to not let anyone else tell her how to feel or dictate her worth to her. Some weeks I need to focus more on one side than the other, but overall I’m hoping to achieve that balance. That beautiful balance of what strong really is.
The photo above is one of her fierce photo shoots and below one of the lovely gentle ones. It’s totally possible to be both at the same time.
I believe in miracles. Amazing things that happen in our lives that we can’t explain or reason or figure out. Miracles of all shapes and sizes and with people from all walks of life. Today, I’d like to tell you about one of my miracles.
My daughter was born on June 6th, 2011 via C-Section. She was perfect in every single way. The moment they laid her on my chest, my world changed for the better. Those delicate eye-lashes, that cry, those eyes. Those inexplicable moments that are forever etched in a Mommy’s heart. I melt just thinking about it. 7 pounds 2 ounces of perfection and bliss.
She was born on a Monday evening and by Wednesday morning we were talking about going home… until. Until. They realized she was jaundiced. They took a blood sample to check the severity of the jaundice and then things changed. They rushed in and took my baby to NICU. I followed. They put on me on the phone with a Neonatologist at a children’t hospital and what I heard was devastating. My baby was sick. Her blood was too thick and having trouble traveling through her tiny body. Too many platelets… more technical terms… things blurred.
They had to take her. They were getting ready to load her in an ambulance, take her to the Children’s hospital. Once there, they were taking her into surgery. They were going to go in through her belly button, remove some of the blood, replace it with saline and hope it helped. I couldn’t ride with her.
I told the nurses I was leaving, discharge papers or not. They got the authorization and released me. One of the nurses was a Pastor’s wife. She prayed with me and put out a prayer with the churches prayer circle. My mom was there and we left the hospital – no driving for me, two days post operation. Thank God for my mom. I got onto Facebook and begged for prayers. At least two of my prayer warrior friends put the call for prayer out to THEIR prayer circles at their churches as well. Prayers poured in from around the country and I soldiered on, putting one foot in front of the other, barely comprehending what was happening.
We arrived at the Children’s Hospital and I made my way up to NICU. The neonatologist met me there and he spoke. “I’m not sure what’s happening. We re-ran the tests before going into surgery and the numbers are improving on their own. In fact, I don’t think we need to do surgery after all.”
I’m pretty sure it took me a few moments to respond. In less than two hours and many, many people praying, she begin to heal on her own. When I say on her own, I mean without medical intervention. God healed her. He heard the prayers and responded. In this case, he said OK. He said Yes, and He healed her. My miracle.
My punkin was kept at NICU for four days – receiving antibiotics and care for the jaundice and for observation. Every day, she was improving. Every day, I was there, holding her, telling her how strong and beautiful and special she was. God’s miracle.
On Saturday morning, we were released and begin our life together – my daughter and me. That is not our only miracle story. In fact, in a different miracle God said NO to my prayers and it still turned out to be just what we needed. That’s how God works.
If you are in need of a miracle, reach out. Pray. Ask others to pray. God is still in the business of miracles. Sometimes he says yes and sometimes he says no, but he’s always looking out for what is best for us.
It’s the last Friday before students come back to my 3rd grade classroom. There are a million things on my to-do list and my mind is spinning. Meditation this morning was a bit of a train-wreck with the constant need to bring my thoughts back to the breath and away from the day. Redirection every 3 seconds!
That’s OK though. Some days start out like that. The question is – how do we handle it? Will we just try to power through, our minds a wreck, running from one thing to the other? I often have done just that but it doesn’t make for a very good day. I end up nervous all day long with an underlying feeling of distress. (I wanted to say frantic-ness, but I don’t actually think that’s a word.)
There is another way. There is always another way.
First, recognize that most of the things you are worrying about are not really worth worrying about. I love the quote that says “if it’s not going to matter in five years, then don’t spend more than five minutes stressing over it now.” Let it go, Elsa.
Next, know that you are going to do your best and that’s good enough. You cannot possibly do more than your best, so if you are giving it your all – be happy with that. Make a list, prioritize, then be in the moment as you get each thing done. Check it off the list. And the things that don’t get finished today, will get finished another day. No big deal. It’s really not going to matter in five years if my bulletin board was perfect before students come on Monday or if there is a pile of papers still on my desk. It’s really not. So have yourself a little celebration over each check mark made today on that list, and be happy.
Take time to quiet your mind. If you are really having a hard time stressing throughout your day, take a mindfulness break. Spend another 10 minutes in meditation. Do some yoga. My favorite yoga person in the world is Adrienne at https://www.youtube.com/user/yogawithadriene. She has tons of FREE videos on just about any topic you’d like and all different lengths. Search stress and she has two about 6 minutes long and several longer ones as well. A well placed short break could be just the thing you need!
In the end, on an average day, how we feel is totally up to us. We can choose to live in the anxiety filled stresses of life or we can make different choices and learn to just sing and be happy. It’s not always easy, but it is possible. Choose happy. Choose Joy. It’s worth the effort.
Yesterday, when I wrote about moments, one of my own lines caught my attention. “You are magnificent chef.” Is it vain to say that my own words made me smile? I’m really beginning to enjoy cooking and the thought of telling myself how magnificent I am at it was silly but fun and it made me smile.
It also got me thinking. We spend so much of our time criticizing ourselves. It’s second nature to most of us and happens on a subconscious level often. It’s the reason we need “I ams” and positive thinking and to retrain our brains! Thoughts like that was dumb. What did you do that for? That wasn’t a good choice. OMG I can’t believe you did that. Idiot! What were you thinking? That was awful. You messed that one up again. Sound familiar? Your thoughts may be way more harsh or even more subtle but unless you have an active practice of mindfulness and affirmations, I’d bet money your internal thought life sounds a lot like that.
So my thought was… what if, as a way to combat all the negatives, we just got really silly and outrageous and spent all day telling ourselves how amazing we were?! Not in an arrogant or show off way. Not as a way to make ourselves feel better than others. But as a way to just make ourselves smile and laugh and change the script of our subconscious.
Imagine… you wake up in the morning, go to the bathroom (everyone does that first, right?) and start your day and think… Wow, you amazing human you. Just getting right up and starting your day like a boss. Props to you, my friend. You make your coffee, take that first sip, and Wow. You are a master coffee maker. Gold star, you fantastic Barista! Singing in the shower? You could win American Idol, you diva. You eventually head to work and congratulate yourself on driving. Nascar like relexes, Smooth driving skills. Bring on the Daytona 500.
Are you getting the idea? Hilarious. So over the top EXTRA… but I can only imagine how much I would smile if I continued this throughout the day! Forcing my thoughts beyond the negative, beyond the accepting, beyond the “I’m ok” to I really rock this world.
I know that personally I am not in danger of become cocky and “better than you” by thinking this way. I’m definitely not meaning to use it in a way to brag or sound crazy to others. Rather, as a simple tool to change our thinking from negative to positive in the most ridiculous extra way I can think of.
Shall we try it today? Give it a test run? I’ve never done this myself. Totally a new idea but I think it could be life changing. And once we get used to speaking to ourselves this way, maybe we pass it on to others. Tell them how amazing they are!
For today though… Be silly. Be absolutely absurd today in your thoughts. Maybe even with your best friend or your spouse (you know, someone who will understand haha). Let’s do it and share our results. Comment below and tell me what crazy ridiculous compliments you gave yourself today and what you thought of the exercise!
Here’s to a stunning day, you wondrous ray of sunshine, you.