I believe that God can heal my ear in an instant.
But He hasn’t.
I believe God can do anything we ask and pray for.
But sometimes He chooses not to.
I can understand that God answers prayers in different ways. I can wrap my mind around the fact that God can say yes, no, or wait.
I know, for a fact, that God sees the bigger picture and is working all things for the good of those who believe and ultimately for His glory.
I believe that God wants us, believers, to pray over others – that Holy Spirit will come upon us for healings and miracles and deliverance.
But… not at all times? Not all people? Not all illnesses?
If I believed more and had more faith – would God heal my ear?
How can I force myself to believe more than I already do? I’ve prayed for the gift of supernatural faith. I’ve prayed for God to give me belief more than I can imagine, to remove all doubts. But in the end, I can tell you I believe these things but wrestle with the how/when/why we pray for things when God is the one to decide when to act.
Not exactly, let me reword that. I know it’s our job to intercede here on Earth. It’s our job to pray and believe so I understand why. But what does it mean to pray with full belief that God will heal the person standing in front of you… to pray Holy spirit power, the blood of Jesus over someone for healing – but God might choose to still say no?
So how do you pray with power and assurance and faith…
It’s like my human rational mind right now wants to change my prayers and let the person I’m praying for know that Hey, I’m going to pray with fervor and I believe that God can heal you, and I’m going to pray in Jesus name and with his power and blood, which can do ALL things … but you still might not get healed, so um, I’m not really sure what’s going to happen. We’ll just have to see.
That seems more honest.
And it seems like a cop-out. Making an excuse for God in case He doesn’t come through.
And why would anyone want to be prayed over… like that?
But how do you pray, fully believing that God can heal someone, but then He doesn’t heal that person and what then?
I don’t understand how this is supposed to work or what this is supposed to look like.
We could pray all things in God’s will…. but we don’t know God’s will!
If it sounds like my frustration is coming through… it is. I WANT to be a prayer warrior like no other. I WANT to be used by God to pray healing over people and live out the great commission – all parts of it including healing and deliverance. I WANT to be used by Holy Spirit.
And to be fair, God is speaking to me daily and I am growing in Jesus and chasing after Him and my life is changing for Him and it’s so amazing.
But I don’t understand this and I feel like I’m missing something.
Why do so many people pray for healing but are not healed?
Is there a secret key I don’t know about? Is my faith not strong enough? Is it just God does His will and we are left floundering to figure out what that will is?
My daily devotion today was about not wearing a mask. Being who you are and letting others see it. I don’t think I wear a mask. I made a decision three years ago when I started this blog that I would be real and vulnerable and honest.
So you see my highs, you see my lows, and you see my questions. My hope being that as I grow closer and learn more, you’ll see that God can handle our questions and our lows and our valleys and that God does answer our questions and our prayers.
I choose to not always wait until I have the answer to share. I choose to share in the moment because if I’m struggling with these things, then others probably are too.
We are all on a journey. And, lastly, I share because sometimes YOU have the answers and experiences and testimonies that I need to hear!
Father God, thank you for listening to our questions. Thank you for not being angry when we come to you with confusion and doubt. Thank you that you are always working in our lives and that You see the bigger picture. Thank you for those times when You choose to let us in on the bigger picture. That is such a gift. And in these times of confusion, thank you for being a source of peace and hope. I ask that you bring clarity to these questions. That you reveal to me what I’m asking and send others into my life that I can learn from. Thank you for everyone else reading this that has the same questions and is waiting for Your answer. May we all turn to You when we need help. You are a good, good God and I thank You for the work You are doing in our lives. In Jesus name, Amen.