If there was one thing I could teach my daughter and her best friend right now before they get any older, it would be this: Your value is NOT dependent on what anyone else says or thinks of you.
End of story.
It’s not dependent on how many friends you have.
It’s not dependent on whether you get the lead in the drama play or have the best grades in school.
It’s not dependent on how many home runs, goals, or points you score.
It’s not dependent on what your friends, enemies, or frenemies say about you or to you.
It’s not dependent on fitting in or how cool you are.
It’s not dependent on being the tallest, shortest, skinniest, prettiest, best, or toughest.
Because, for one thing, none of those things will ever be enough. You will never be the smartest – there will always be someone smarter, somewhere in some way. You’ll never be the prettiest, beauty is in the eye of the beholder and the beauty that the world presents to us is nothing but a mirage anyway. You won’t always have the lead part or the best grades. The number of friends you have will change as you go through different seasons of your life. And being cool changes as quickly as the weather.
Because, for another thing, no matter how great, smart, pretty, or skinny you are… someone can and will always find something to pick on you for. You’re gorgeous? Well someone is going to comment on some aspect of your appearance to bring you down. Perhaps that gap in your teeth. You’re so smart? Well someone is going to comment on that one time you got a B instead of an A. You’re skinny? Someone is going to tell you that you are too skinny and have chicken legs. Not skinny? Someone is going to tell you that you are fat and make monkey faces at you.
If we depend on ANY outward influence to determine our value, we will never be enough.
If only I could have learned this as a tween. If only my precious tweens will listen to me and learn this now.
If our value doesn’t come from other people, our hard work, our skills, or our achievements then where does it come from?
From the one who made us. The one who intricately designed every aspect of our being. The one who gave us our unique qualities, strengths, and gifts. The one who has a beautiful purpose and plan for our life.
Our value comes from God.
We have value because He says we are valuable, more valuable than rubies, more valuable than a million canaries!
“What’s the price of a pet canary? Some loose change, right? And God cares what happens to it even more than you do. He pays even greater attention to you, down to the last detail—even numbering the hairs on your head! So don’t be intimidated by all this bully talk. You’re worth more than a million canaries.”Matthew 10:29-30 MSG
We have worth because He calls us worthy. Not because of anything we have done, not because of how pretty or smart we are, but because of who He is and because of His great incomprehensible love for us!
The Lord your God wins victory after victory and is always with you. He celebrates and sings because of you, and he will refresh your life with his love.Zephaniah 3:17 CEV
I could go on and on with more verses proclaiming God’s love for us and how He makes us worthy and valuable, but in the end, it’s up to us to embrace this truth. It’s not enough to just know these verses and to intellectually agree that God loves us and calls us worthy. We need to bear hug these truths with all our strength until they become a part of us. We need to KNOW in our hearts and believe that what God says is true. And we need to cling to that truth no matter what anyone ever says about us or to us.
When we start to lose our value (our sense of worth and self-esteem) based on what someone else has said or done, we are giving them power over us. We are taking the measure of our worth from God’s hands and placing it in a mere human’s hands, then allowing them to control us and our feelings. No human should ever have that power! It’s pretty ridiculous when we think of it that way, don’t you agree? Yet we do it all the time! It has to stop!
Eleanor Roosevelt said, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”
People can only hurt us when we let them. People are always going to talk. Always going to find something to say or pick on us for. But they can only hurt us when we allow them to. When we hear something negative, we must not allow them the power to measure our worth. We have to make sure we give that power only to God.
So someone makes a comment about my weight? I need to let it go and say and know and bear hug the truth outta the following statement: “My value is dependent on God alone. He calls me beautiful. He calls me lovely. He calls me valuable and worthy, therefore I am valuable and worthy.”
Happy New year, friends!!!