Foreward: I spent this whole blog post saying, “Ok, God… what next? What do I write next?” He literally helped form this message FOR ME so as I was writing, I was learning and hearing from Him. Just wanted to share that! This message is from Him!
I’m going through counseling again, I’ve mentioned that. A big part of this season of counseling is getting to the deep core issues of my negative beliefs. It’s an interesting journey and I haven’t shared the icky stuff yet because it feels embarrassing and, well, yucky.
Before I even opened my computer this morning, I felt like God had placed the topic on my heart. I resisted. Decided to look at pictures and see what else would come to me to write about. Nope, same topic. Even now, in my second paragraph of writing, I feel the push-back of not wanting to write this.
Y’all are going to think it’s something so crazy. It’s not. So here it is:
I have this deep need to belong and yet have always felt like I don’t belong.
I’ve always felt like I don’t measure up. That I’m good… but not good enough to fit in. I have lots of great qualities… but it’s not enough. People like me… but not as much as they like others. I may be a part of a group… but I’m the least important and most easily left out person of the group.
If I see that people have hung out without me, I wonder… what is wrong with me? (Here’s the dumb part – I feel this even if it’s not something I would have wanted to do!) It can be the simplest thing but if it hits the nerve of “I don’t belong,” I will easily spiral into some dark negative self-talk.
I feel very uncomfortable writing this.
I’m learning that feeling like you don’t belong is actually very common.
This is a new thought just now, but I think that this is a tactic of Satan. If he can get you to believe that you don’t belong… that you are unloved, unworthy, and/or not good enough… he can get you to chase those feelings and get your eyes off of God and how loved you truly are.
People chase the need to belong in so many ways – drugs, alcohol, peer pressure, FOOD, hanging out with wrong crowds, people-pleasing, looking for the approval of others, and over-committing to things to name a few. The more I think about this, the more common I think this may be.
We want to belong so we do whatever we can to feel like we belong. But it’s never enough.
And… the kicker here, it’s not even true. This feeling of not being loved or enough or worthy – it’s a lie. A lie from the enemy. It’s an evil tactic to pull us away from God and into just about anything else.
I shared with my bible study group these feelings I have and they were shocked. They look at me as the one everyone loves. That has so many friends. That fits in everywhere. And for a glimpse, I could see what they were saying. And they feel like they don’t belong! What?!
This is subterfuge at its best. Convincing each of us that we don’t belong, don’t fit in and are unworthy. Convincing each of us that everyone else is better and more loved and does fit in. And convincing each of us to keep it to ourselves, hidden and embarrassing, so the secret doesn’t get out. The secret that we all feel this way and it’s Satan’s way of keeping us out of God’s best for our life!!
Subterfuge: deceit used in order to achieve one’s goal
The enemy tricks us into believing we are unloved and don’t fit in. Therefore, we chase after things that will help us fit in rather than chase after God. We are embarrassed by this so we don’t tell anyone and therefore it never comes to light and we all keep living in this darkness. Goal: Achieved.
Here’s the thing. It’s possible we were never meant to fully belong here on Earth. Earth is not our final destiny, God is. We are meant to live forever with a God who loves us and accepts us just as we are. A God who created us with all of our quirks and strengths and even weaknesses. A God who wants to use us to draw others into His great love and acceptance and family. Yes, family.
We belong to God.
We need to know to Whom we belong. To the one who loves us beyond all comprehension. To the one who forever holds a place for us. A place to fit in. A place we are meant to be, not just in the now but for eternity.
We belong in God’s family. In His arms. In His love. Each one of us.
There is a God who waits to wrap us in His unconditional love. Like a comfy blankie that we can snuggle down into, that makes us feel safe and warm and oh, so loved. That’s God. He has that for us. More than anyone on Earth could ever provide. More love than we could ever hope to imagine from other humans. Comfort and peace that will never be attained from anyone on Earth.
No matter how many groups of friends you “fit in” with on Earth, no matter how many families you try to create out of friends, no matter how many friends are in your friend list, or how many parties you get invited to, or how many people stop to talk to you…
You will never achieve that feeling of belonging that you long for.
It’s only found in Jesus. Forever. All-encompassing. No limit to His love and nothing we can do to diminish or lessen it. He loves us as we are, like no one on Earth can. He is our belonging.
If we can grasp that… and share it with others… Oh, the change that would overcome us. The change we could create!
No wonder Satan works so hard to tell us we don’t belong. No wonder he tries incessantly to get us to believe we are unloved and unworthy and don’t fit in. His ultimate goal is to keep us away from the One who will always love us and always have a place for us.
Let’s call on Jesus to heal this place of unbelonging and unworthiness in us. Let’s ask Him to remove this need to fight to fit in here on Earth. Let’s ask God to envelop us in His incredible love and allow us to feel our place of belonging in Him.
Let’s fight back against the enemy by letting go of our need to belong to people, and embracing our place of belonging with the Almighty, all-loving God of the universe.
And let’s share this with others so it’s no longer a hidden tactic of Satan but one that is well-known so that everyone knows how to achieve freedom from the torment of needing to belong. So that everyone can know that our belonging is in Jesus and there’s nothing we need to do to fit in but simply accept our place with God.
We don’t need to fight for it, we just need to accept it. We can let go of the chains of needing to belong to people here on Earth and walk free in the love of God and our belonging in Him and with Him.
We belong to Jesus, friends. We belong to the God of all creation. He loves us and sees us for who we are. He gathers us close. He’s possessively in love with us. Not a casual love. Not fleeting. A passionate, you belong to me and in my family and in my kingdom, kind of love. A love that can fill our hearts to the brim and overflowing. A love we don’t have to chase after because it’s freely given to us. The ultimate love. The ultimate belonging.
Happy Wednesday, friends!