You ever get hit with a quote or verse at just the right moment in your life? This one is perfect for the season I’m in… the season I’m struggling in, I should say. Check it out:
We are growing up… my daughter and I. I saw another quote one day that said kids don’t realize that as they are growing up, their parents are growing up too. Isn’t that the truth? As they grow, we continue to grow and learn and adapt and seek help. At least, I do. And the older my daughter gets, the more I seem to be reaching out for help. #tweenyears
When I first saw the initial quote – the wild ones and room wreckers… it was several years ago. It resonated with me but not entirely. Like, I thought some of this is punky but I’m not sure if it all applies… But now, Oh, it’s ALL her. Just not the way I originally thought of it.
My daughter has the adventurous spirit and the spontaneous itch. The Wild Hearted. She’s always up for something new and if it makes her feel like a warrior – even better. Learn to shoot a bow and arrow? Yes! A BB gun? Yes! Axe throwing? Please can I go?? Climbing mountains? Hiking trails? Jumping into rivers? Yes, Yes, Yes.
Is she a room wrecker? In the sense that she will tear a room apart looking for that one gift that will mean something to her friend. In the sense that she will put all of her heart and soul into creating that perfect project and when she walks out of her room, it looks like a tornado hit. She puts her ALL into the things that matter to her.
Reality checker? Yep. If it doesn’t make sense to her, she’ll question it until she gets a satisfying answer or I just send her away because she won’t accept what I’m telling her! She’ll research it on her own. And better keep track of what you said, because SHE isn’t going to forget it.
Argue like a lawyer when I just wish she’d say Yes, mama and move on? How in the name of peace and sanity can I get THIS to stop?!
She uses these same skills, just as the quote says, to stand up for her friends. She won’t back down. She’s loyal to a fault and even a group of people won’t make her back down from defending a friend. And not just a friend… her heart goes out to those who need it. The ones abandoned, alone, or being teased or hurt. She won’t stand for it.
Justice is vital to her core. She wants everyone to be treated fairly and wants everyone to do the right thing. And while this is difficult in the world we live in… and I have to teach her to let go of the things she can’t change, I wouldn’t want to take this away from her for anything.
Yes, year ten of her life has started out rough. She’s growing. And the more she grows, the more she will become the person God created her to be. Which isn’t passive, quiet, or reserved. It isn’t go with the flow and accept everything as truth. It isn’t to just comply for compliance sake.
And I don’t want it to be. Not when I break it down and look at it piece by piece.
I want her to question, respectfully, what she’s told and what she reads.
I want her to defend those who need help and stand up for those no one else will stand up for.
I want her to be adventurous and try new things and to be wild and in tune with the world God created.
I want her to be able to stand her ground as a tween, a teen, an adult when it matters.
I want her to be a fierce leader who fights for justice.
So maybe it’s not just her that needs to be growing and changing these tween years. Maybe I need to learn how to help her grow in those areas with balance and love. Teach her how to be fierce but kind. To question but remain respectful. To try new things but not infringe on others. To be spontaneous but still responsible. To create… but also clean up. To give wholeheartedly but not be taken advantage of.
Mommin is becoming so much more than just to feed her, love her, play with her, and keep her safe.
I’m raising a future leader and a wild-hearted world changer. It starts now.
So, ummm, any advice on how to do that?
I feel God is expanding my view of parenting and showing me new truths… but I don’t exactly know how to live them out yet. After all, this IS my first rodeo at parenting. I’ll take any advice y’all want to give!
My own personal advice… well not advice, but what I hope you’ll take from what God is teaching me is to look at your beautiful children… look at the things that are making you go crazy… and think… how will this help them as an adult? What can I do to help mold this into something productive in her future?
Is this something I want to train her OUT of or INTO?
Happy FriYAY, friends!!