I’ve got stories to tell. Things have been happening but I’ve been MIA for awhile. I’ve also been home with some health problems for the past 5 days. I haven’t written in awhile and thought maybe today.
I’m going to start with my health as that is what is most on my mind at the moment. Warning: This is all “woman” stuff so read on at your own risk! Ha!
For the past year and a half I’ve had the worst menstrual migraines. I worked with my primary care doctor for probably 9 months trying every different medicine under the sun, including injections, but nothing worked. Probably because she wouldn’t listen to me that they only happened once a month during my cycle!
I have polycystic ovarian syndrome which means my cycle is very irregular, among other things so I’ve always been on birth control to help regulate it. I recently saw a new gynecologist and we decided to try a different pill. She immediately labeled my migraines as menstrual migraines. (Thank you!)
In November, before trying the new pill, I had skipped the placebo pills on the pill I was on. When I got my period in December it was extremely heavy and not at all normal for me. I chalked it up to the fact I skipped the placebo pills the month before. It was concerning but I got through it.
Then this past week, it happened again, only worse. The flow, the pain, everything about it was ridiculous. (And technically I’m on day 10.) I messaged my GYN on Friday and they wanted me to go to the ER. But… they could do the same tests in the office on Tuesday. So I waited until yesterday and my mom drove me to the office for an ultrasound, bloodwork, and to meet with a different doctor (who I really liked).
The ultrasound showed a lot of “junk” in my uterus that shouldn’t be there. (How?! was the only thing I could think… I mean I feel like I should be dead with the amount of blood I lost… lol (If you are a guy reading this, I’m sorry, but I did warn you.)
Bottom line is I have to have surgery to get everything cleaned out and that plus additional biopsies are going to be sent out for testing to rule out cancer.
So… here’s where I struggle a bit. I already have an anxiety disorder. And my mom’s mom died of some kind of uterine or cervical cancer. So imagine where your mind runs. I would appreciate any prayers for a positive outcome on those tests. Thank you!
The surgery is out patient and scheduled for March 12th.
In the meantime, I have the opportunity to:
The past month and a half has been very stressful. Between my own health issues and my daughter’s issues which still aren’t resolved… it gets hard.
With anxiety/depression I find myself treading water. Not fully giving in but not fully living life either. There are some amazing things happening, too! My house and puppy stories are going to be great! I guess I bounce back and forth from being happy and excited about things to come to the stress just pulling me under and I find myself in bed, watching the same shows over and over again.
I worry my friends are getting tired of hearing depressing things from me, how I’m struggling.
I want to get up and go gung ho on doing something, getting out of the house, having some fun… and yet physically right now, I get a pounding head and nauseous when I stand up.
I’m worried my bosses are frustrated at me for missing work this week, the week I started hybrid.
I want to write more, do something, anything but also I just really want to take some Tylenol and lay back down.
I need to label the stories for what they are (my mind running away from me), accept my physical limitations at the moment, and work on that list I mentioned above – prayer, mindfulness, being in the moment.
And I need to just hit publish even though I feel like hiding from the things going on.
Thanks for listening today, friends.