Sit with Sadness

My punkin has been going through some things and rather than share about what those issues are, I’m just going to tell you that last night I was very, very sad over it.

It’s something that hurts us both, that I cannot fix, that I just don’t know what to do about at this point, and I got very overwhelmed and emotional. When the emotions calmed down, dinner was eaten, snuggling was finished, and my daughter went calmly and sweetly to sleep… I was just so sad.

Overwhelmingly sad.

At first, I reached out to my friends. Help me being the general message. Make it stop. When we are sad, we often fight against it. We just want it to end. We want to make the sadness go away, by any means. It feels awful.

I finally said to my friend, “I’m just sad tonight. It’s OK.” To which she responded, “It’s OK to be sad.” Something I know.

But at that moment, there was peace creeping in with the sadness.

Sitting side by side.

It’s OK to be sad.

I allowed myself to just feel it. I thought about what it felt like in my head, my heart, my chest, my body, my thoughts. I didn’t dwell on it. I just noticed it and accepted it. Yes, I am sad. I have a reason to be sad. Some sad things happened. These feelings are normal and totally reasonable. I am sad.

Once I gave myself permission to accept the feeling rather than fight with it, I relaxed into it. I was still sad and it still sucked but there was a gentleness that came with it. A feeling of acceptance. And a knowledge and reminder that feelings come and go and that this feeling of sadness would not last forever.

When we notice and accept our feelings, without judgement, they become easier to accept and to move through. We no longer have to fight against them. We don’t have to frantically try to drown them out. No need to mask them or hide from them.

We simply sit with them…. and… they eventually pass.

Life is a roller coaster of emotions and learning how to accept them is a great gift we can give ourselves.

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