Four weeks, four days.
October 16th was the last day I posted about Weight Watchers and it was a temper tantrum of a post about how I only have the capacity to do so much and I had fallen off the wagon and it sucks to admit my failures…. well you can go back and read it if you’d like.
I’m going to copy and paste one paragraph from the post here though, because it’s relevant…
So here’s my goal. I’ve tried just “fixing it” in the past and I haven’t been successful… yet. In the past, these “moods” have lasted months. Three months, even six months. So my goal is going to be to lessen the length of these I don’t care moods. In any way possible. It has to come within me, no one else is going to be able to help me, but somehow I’m going to work on lessening the length of stay in the place each time.
So the last time I “fell off the wagon,” for lack of a better way of putting it, I was off that stupid wagon for six months. As of today, it’s been four weeks, four days and my goal is to go shopping today, be reasonable today, but get back to tracking tomorrow – my weight watchers Wednesday.
So, to go from 6 months to 1 month approximately… that will have to be my victory, my success.
Why even share this?
I do have a point. A point that I haven’t made yet before. I had a counseling session on Friday and this, of course, was one of the topics. I said “I just don’t know why it’s so hard.” Cue pitiful voice.
She said, “Well, first, it’s hard because you keep saying it’s hard.”
I gave her a dirty look and told her how annoying she was. No, really, I did. Just in case you think I’m joking. I did it in a nice way. I mean if you can’t be completely honest with your therapist…
It annoyed me because it sounded exactly, word for word, like something I would say to my daughter. Something I know deep inside me. Advice I would easily give to someone else.
Don’t you hate being called out?
It’s true though. It’s become so ingrained that it’s HARD that I have become fixated on that. My mind believes it’s hard. And so, it’s time to change that.
I need to change my mindset from it’s too hard, it’s so hard, I can’t do it… to…
I’m sure you get the gist. I’ll probably fine tune those affirmations but it’s a start.
I have got to change my mindset. So affirmations, here we go again. I’ve changed my mindset on so many things already, I know I can for this one also. Now it’s not easy and it doesn’t happen quickly. I’m not saying I won’t have other setbacks, but I know, right now, this is where I need to start. And it’s with these thoughts.
It’s time to grow.
This month: +5.4 lbs, Total Weight Loss: – 8.6 lbs