Confidence

Ahhh this girl. My love-girl. She started third grade last Monday and has somehow transformed. She has bloomed. Lessons I’ve been trying to teach her, thoughts I’ve been trying to share… all of sudden, they are there.

She cleaned her room by herself today. Without prompting. What?! (Seriously, never has happened before.)

I’m not sure how to explain this, what I’m feeling and thinking. My punkin has always been a good girl. I work hard at raising a good human. So it’s not like we went from crazy awful behavior to suddenly good… it’s something different.

There is something in her that is shining out right now and it’s a beautiful sight. I think it might be confidence.

Just as I work hard on I ams within myself, my daughter does too. We work on it together. As much as I work on loving myself, I work to show her how to love herself. As much as I work on believing in myself, I’m working to show her how to do it too. When I struggle, I share my struggles with her and show her how I am working through them. When she is struggling, I try to link it back to something in my life because she needs to know she is not alone.

She struggles with some anxiety too. She, also, has been through some trauma. She, too, has overcome. We still deal with the effects of what we have gone through, though. It’s not a quick fix.. It’s more like a life sentence. Ok, that’s a little doom and gloom, but really recovering from trauma takes time and willingness to grow. As adults, we can choose what we do with our darkness. My daughter, she hasn’t had a choice. I wasn’t going to let her fail. We have stumbled our way through tricky waters but always moving on and up.

And this year, I see something I’ve wanted to see for so long. That beautiful blessed confidence.

She walked into 3rd grade knowing it was going to be a good year. Expecting it. She reads her books now, without hesitation. She took a test, had a couple minutes of nerves, then just decided to do it, no matter how long it took or what anyone else was doing. She started back at gymnastics and having never been able to do a cartwheel, learned it in one week. Practices it every day now. She got a Yo-Yo from the store this weekend, and now can yo-yo better than me! Never once showing frustration that it was hard, rather just doing it until she got it right. Cleaning her room – there was no more “I can’t do this” or “I need help.” She just set her mind to do it and did it well.

There is a confidence in her, showing through her actions, that says “I’ve got this. I can do it. I am capable.” Do you know how many times last year I had her say those affirmations? More times than I can count. But it was worth it. We… She is beginning to reap the benefits of the mental work she’s been putting in for a long time now.

It’s so beautiful.

My message to you today is don’t stop. Don’t give up. Whatever you are trying to change in your life, just keep going. The results don’t often show up in the first week, month, or even the first year. But if you keep going, you will get there. That affirmation you’ve been holding onto? It will come true. Keep believing in yourself. Forget the timeline, and just keep going. You’ve got this.

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