There’s a post going around Facebook of a gorgeous little girl in an atypical pose – hair a beautiful mess, viking paint on her cheeks, dirty, fierce, tough. The quote with it says, “Do not raise your daughter to look for a knight. Raise her to use the sword herself.” Oooh, do I ever love it.
My goal as a Mommy is to raise a good human, one who believes in herself, stands up for herself, and fights for others. A kind, gentle soul… that won’t let anyone take advantage of her. A girl… woman… who knows her worth and isn’t afraid to make a stand to be treated the way she deserves. But one who does it with grace and compassion, both for herself and towards others.
A bit of tall order in today’s day and age, but it’s my goal nonetheless. It’s a fine line to walk… venture too far one way or the other and it falls apart. A woman with only compassion, who doesn’t understand her own value, can easily be taken advantage of. A woman who thinks so highly of herself that she cannot see the needs of others, becomes cold and heartless.
But the middle line… it’s beautiful. Idealistic? Maybe. Achievable? I believe so. I’m working hard to get there myself so that I can lead the way for my daughter. I pour my heart into my daughter, my family, my friends, and my students. At the same time, I’m learning how to stand up to others and say, “No, this isn’t right. It needs to change.” or “They deserve better” or even harder, “I deserve better.”
I have a long way to go. I lean way more towards the compassionate and not knowing your own value and worth side. But that’s ok. There’s room for growth.
I’m raising my daughter to be both – loving and kind, to think about how her actions affect others, to care… and also fierce – to not let anyone take advantage of her, to stand up for those weaker than her, and to not let anyone else tell her how to feel or dictate her worth to her. Some weeks I need to focus more on one side than the other, but overall I’m hoping to achieve that balance. That beautiful balance of what strong really is.
The photo above is one of her fierce photo shoots and below one of the lovely gentle ones. It’s totally possible to be both at the same time.