I love this punkin. She’s 8 now but the pictures I use come from all points of her life. I LOVE photography and she’s the best subject. She’s quite used to having her picture taken and usually enjoys it. She’s a beautiful human – inside and out. I tell her often because I want it to become a part of who she is. Not that I think beauty is important but because every woman I know struggles to believe they are beautiful. And every one of us are, you know. Beautiful. Each and every one of us. Don’t roll your eyes – it’s truth.
We don’t see it though. We are so hard on ourselves and just don’t see the beauty when looking in the mirror. We see our flaws. Overweight. Bad hair day. Big nose. Long arms. (Is that a thing?) Weird feet. Imperfect skin. On and on the list goes. What would my punkin think, how would it affect her, if I always pointed out and told her things like that? It would cripple her, yes?
Why then do we do it to ourselves? Do we really think we are helping ourselves by constantly noticing the imperfections? Is anyone perfect? No and No. Every time we criticize ourselves, we are hurting ourselves. Destroying out self esteem. Lowering our boundaries – not just to ourselves but to others. The worse we are to ourselves, the worse we will allow people to treat us as well.
We are beautiful, friends. Beautiful. Imperfect? Of course, but perfect just the same. We have hearts that love, souls that sing, people we care about, passions, and humor, and fierceness. And when people look at us, they see just that. The beauty.
I struggle with this a lot. I am overweight and somehow in my mind that makes me less of a person. Less worthy. Less deserving of love. One of my best friends, Mandy, tells me she sees such beauty when she looks at me. She gets my feelings, understands them, but just doesn’t see it. Most of the time, I think she’s just being nice. Except… I know she’s not. She’s telling the truth as she sees it.
I wish we could see ourselves the way others do. I think we can… I think we can get there. It takes a lot of work though. A lot of he undoing of the lies we have believed for so long. It’s going to take affirmations daily and constant monitoring of the mind. Every time we think one of those awful thinks we think about ourselves, we need to stop and turn it around. For every one awful think, we need at least 3 positive thinks. “I look awful today.” No. NO. I am beautiful. I am beautiful inside and out. I am strong and lovely and I will overcome these thoughts. “I’m so stupid. What a dumb mistake!” No. NO. Everyone makes mistakes. I am smart and kind and hardworking. I do great work on a daily basis. One mistake does not define me. I am intelligent and good at my job.
Change your thoughts and then move on. Don’t dwell on it. And when the next awful thought comes, do it again. And again, and again, and again. I’ve overcome some very limiting beliefs through this process. From weak to strong, from scared to brave, from unworthy to worthy. (That last one is still a work in progress but I’ve come a long way.)
The one I still most need to work on is – I’m beautiful. Inside and Out. When I wake up in the morning to blog, I first spend some time in meditation, then prayer and I end my prayer with a request for the right picture and the right words to speak. I haven’t been planning ahead just open to the opportunity and what feels right. So I wasn’t planning on writing about my inferiority complex when it comes to my looks or about affirmations or beauty… but it’s obviously what I needed today. Something I need to work on. I AM working on health – moving more, eating better, drinking more water… but the fact that I am working on improving my health doesn’t make me any less worthy or beautiful as human.
So here goes. Here goes to the upcoming days of beautiful affirmations and hard work to continue to grow as a lovely human.